The Practical Theatre Company returns to Studio5 — Opening on December 26th!
Thomas Jefferson and Abigail & John Adams welcome you to an evening of sophisticated frolic, music, and more as The Practical Theatre Company presents their annual holiday revue — “Quick! Before We’re Cancelled!”
For tickets: https://buytickets.at/practicaltheatre
Among the subjects comedically explored is Chicago’s embrace of the first American Pope and his relationship to the Windy City’s baseball teams.
Studio5 is Evanston’s shining gem of a cabaret theatre performance space — with adult drinks available at the bar — and acres of free parking. Laughs, music & adult beverages! Holiday fun in classic Practical Theatre style. Featuring Paul Barrosse, Victoria Zielinski and Dana Olsen. With Steve Rashid & the Studio5 All-Stars, keyboard whiz Larry Schanker, Chicago’s finest jazz vocalist Paul Marinaro, Jim Cox on bass, and Robert Rashid on drums. Let’s all enjoy a laugh at the close of 2025. We could all use a good laugh, right?
Democrats.
NATO is a good thing. (Certainly better than two World Wars in the 20th century.)
Then, don’t fret whether the Democratic nominee is Bernie, Biden, Warren, Mayor Pete or Amy Klobuchar.
I’m a comedian and television producer by trade — and a passionate history buff by avocation.
Right now – in the 2020 Presidential election — the future of our democracy is in the balance.
Putting these two distinguished historians work together with the everyday evidence available on objective newspaper front pages and TV news broadcasts, it’s clear that the election and maladministration of Donald Trump is as dangerous and pivotal a moment for American Democracy as we’ve experienced since 1776.
The architect of Trump’s awful, inhuman border policy is his close aide Stephen Miller — an abominable, heartless white nationalist.
We can see the potential death of democracy in the feckless cowardice of the Republican Senate. By acquitting Trump of his obvious high crimes against the constitution, they bent their knees like the fearful, faithless German legislators who paved the way for Hitler’s rise to tyrannical authority.
Trump says climate change is a hoax.
Trump’s Justice Department under William Barr is enthusiastically investigating Trump’s perceived enemies.
I’m a comedian — but I’m not joking. It’s not an exaggeration.
On Monday, February 11, 2019, FOX News online ran a piece with this headline:
Wait.
I thought that among the burning issues of the day was whether some actor from the cast of “Empire” staged a hate crime attack on himself. And that according to sources, Senator Amy Klobuchar might be too hard on her staff.
More than a third of the insects could be gone in the next few decades? Shouldn’t we be hearing a lot more about our vanishing insects? Then again, maybe there’s just no time to address this insect extinction story – and still have room on our news broadcasts for breathless punditry about whether or not “Pocahontas” Elizabeth Warren tried to get ahead by claiming Native American heritage?
Of course, with all the time spent on television and in the print and online media arguing about whether Alexandria Ocasio Cortez is a Socialist who’s moving the Democrats too far to the left, maybe there’s just not enough time to worry about losing all our insects?. While the pundits and politicos dither about whether AOC is too extreme — there’s scant time to explore the fact that “Due to the high level off species loss, Earth is considered to have entered into its sixth mass extinction event in half-a-billion years.” That problem sounds a lot more extreme than the political philosophy of a 29-year old freshman congresswoman. But what do I know?
As President Trump pumps out Tweet after shameless, petty Tweet and his TV lawyer Ruby Giuliani lies outrageously on any show that will give him a microphone – the American body politic is left to wonder, “What would Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller say?”
In recent weeks, Trump and his mob have launched a campaign to discredit Mueller and his investigation – but standing placidly amid the faux outrage and bombast, the man fixed in the dead center of Trump’s target has remained silent. Owing to his sense of duty, propriety and professionalism – the veteran U.S. Marine officer and former FBI Director Robert Mueller III has kept quiet.
I was stunned when my iPhone buzzed this morning at 7:00 AM ET. I was expecting a call from my pool maintenance guy to say what time he was coming over to fix the light bulb in my hot tub – so imagine my surprise when it was the Special Prosecutor himself!
Mueller didn’t have much time to chat. He, Rod Rosenstein and Christopher Wray had to leave shortly for a breakfast meeting with Attorney General Jeff Sessions. Of course, Mueller told me, they can’t really talk about anything with Sessions because (A) he’s recused himself from the Trump investigation, (B) he’s likely to leak info to Trump and (C) they suspect he’s angry because he’s lost his magic powers and can’t remember where he buried his pot of gold. You can’t trust a bitter ex-leprechaun.
In the short time we talked, Mueller got a number of things off his chest.
ME: But it does seem to affect public opinion.
MUELLER: You mean what do I say to my fellow Republicans who say that?
Secondly, let’s dispense with this bullshit about how long my investigation is taking. Does anyone remember Whitewater? That took more than 5 years. Never heard any GOP flacks complain about that. Benghazi? Please. That shit show ran longer than the Watergate probe. And those idiots in the House Freedom Caucus still want to investigate Benghazi some more! And how about “Uranium One?” It’s madness! Those ginned-up, penny-ante cases are nothing compared to my investigation. We’re trying to get to the bottom of how a hostile foreign power managed to meddle in an American Presidential election.
MUELLER: I mean, Putin and agents of the Russian government fucked with our most scared democratic process! They even tried to hack into our voting systems. That should set my fellow Republicans’ hair on fire. And when I get done, they’ll want to set Trump’s hair on fire, too. What a blaze that’ll be! Not since I saw napalm in Vietnam…
MUELLER: I could care less. This probe started long before I took charge of it. It began because our brilliant and patriotic intelligence community learned that folks working on the Trump campaign had all sorts of sordid contacts with Russian oligarchs, the Russian government, Wikileaks and, possibly, Putin himself.
MUELLER: Certainly. Eventually. And a whole lot of other things, including that crazy sale of his Florida mansion to some Russian for a half-million more than it was worth.
MUELLER: That’s not my call. I’m not about politics. I’m not about public opinion. I’m all about the law.
Scenes from the March For Our Lives in Los Angeles, to the tune of Bob Dylan’s classic protest song: as relevant today as it was when it was released on January 13, 1964.
And accept it that soon
Come writers and critics
Come senators, congressmen
Come mothers and fathers
The line it is drawn
As of today, March 22, 2018, Donald Trump has jumped the shark.
Ever since Fonzie took to water skis and 
Today we learned that…
On this same day we learn that Trump’s National Security Advisor, General H.R. McMaster is out – and right wing, war hawk, bull-goose-loony John Bolton is taking his place.
So, how does Trump – who ran on his blistering critique of the war in Iraq as a huge mistake, now embrace one of the primary advocates of that mistaken war? Who knows? Chaos reigns.
Playboy centerfold Karen MacDougal appeared on CNN today.
Those who know me know that I like meat. I’m an unrepentant carnivore.
So, naturally, I have spent much of the scant recreational time I have during the Olympic Games in search of the best Korean barbeque available in the PyeongChang area.
And then, last night, I found — and enjoyed — Korean BBQ heaven.
This night was Korean
With cameraman Corey in the lead, we hauled out cuts of beef to the upstairs dining room after a 20-minute wait. We were famished — but we anticipated beefy, tasty, spicy joy in our near future.
Paul's Voyage of Discovery & Etc. 
Abigail Adams vs. The U.S. Constitution
In The Practical Theatre Company’s most recent comedy revue, Quick! Before We’re Cancelled!, we imagined what the brilliant and fearlessly opinionated Abigail Adams might have to say to her husband John and his patriot pal Thomas Jefferson regarding the newly-written Constitution of the United States of America. It’s a sitcom circa 1787 entitled…
“OH, ABIGAIL!”
MUSIC: Harpsichord: “Yankee Doodle”
IT’S THE FALL OF 1787, FOUR YEARS AFTER OUR NATION HAS WON ITS INDEPENDENCE. THE CONSTITUTIONAL CONVENTION HAS JUST FINISHED DRAFTING THE DOCUMENT THAT WILL BE OUR DEMOCRATIC TEMPLATE FOR THE NEXT 238 YEARS.
WE TAKE YOU NOW TO THE HOME OF JOHN AND ABIGAIL ADAMS, WHO ARE HOSTING THOMAS JEFFERSON FOR A CELEBRATORY DINNER.
ADAMS: A toast, my dear Thomas! Here’s to our new Constitution! The ink is barely dry on it – but ‘tis done at last!
JEFFERSON: To the constitution! I daresay the world will be astonished at what our patriotic brothers have fashioned: the birth of true representative democracy on the Earth!
ADAMS: Here, here!
ABIGAIL ENTERS, CARRYING A SHEAF OF PARCHMENT.
ABIGAIL: Ahem… Excuse me, please….
ADAMS: Ah, forgive me, Abigail. Please join us!
ABIGAIL: Gentlemen, much as I esteem you both. I have certain questions about the document as written.
BEAT. JEFFERSON DOES A SPIT TAKE.
JEFFERSON: Do you mean to say that you’ve read our Constitution?
ABIGAIL: Of course I have! I read everything that John brings home.
ADAMS: So, that’s where my copy went!
JEFFERSON: Your copy? Good heavens man, that’s the only copy!
ABIGAIL PRODUCES THE DOCUMENT, PUTS ON HER READING GLASSES.
ABIGAIL: If you gentlemen will just indulge me. To begin with, I’m concerned that the Article Two Executive Branch Powers have not been clearly delineated.
ADAMS: Oh, Abigail, we’ve no need of further comment…
ABIGAIL: (IGNORING HER HUSBAND) What, pray tell, might happen if an unscrupulous, mendacious and avaricious man should occupy the office of President, taking unto himself powers not anticipated in your sacred constitution and make of himself a despot — seeking to accrue ever more power and wealth unto himself?
ADAMS: Oh, Abigail! ‘Tis impossible to conceive that a man of such low character could ever win the hearts of God-fearing, freedom loving Americans!
JEFFERSON: Well said, John! The noble virtues and innate wisdom of our rustic electorate are a bulwark against the rise of despotism and tyranny!
ADAMS: Thomas is right, Abigail. Can you imagine that men who have just fought a revolution to throw off the yolk of royal subjugation would ever submit to a grasping despot as their President?
JEFFERSON: It is to laugh!
ADAMS & JEFFERSON: Hahahaha!
ABIGAIL: I only ask you to consider a scenario in which a narcissistic, manipulative scoundrel seduces our rustic electorate with vague appeals to greatness and disingenuous promises of security and prosperity.
ADAMS: Oh, Abigail! ‘Tis the very reason we have designed a system of checks and balances
JEFFERSON: Three co-equal branches of government!
ADAMS & JEFFERSON: The Legislative, The Executive and the Judicial!
ABIGAIL: But what if this miscreant asserts that he can bypass Congress and ignore the Courts?
ADAMS: Oh, Abigail!
ADAMS: The wise men of the Courts and the Congress would no doubt rise to meet the moment.
JEFFERSON: And vigorously affirm their Constitutional authority!
ADAMS: Should this soulless mountebank that you describe attempt such a perfidious scheme, he would be promptly impeached by the steadfast men of the House of Representatives!
JEFFERSON: And convicted by the temperate and sagacious men of the Senate!
ABIGAIL: The Senate? There, gentlemen, I daresay you have made a grave error.
JEFFERSON: How so? The Senate, Abigail, is the saucer that cools the heat of what the House has brewed.
ABIGAIL: But sirs. You have apportioned the seats in the House of Representatives based on the state’s population.
ADAMS: Of course. ‘Tis only fair.
ABIGAIL: And yet you’ve designated two Senators for each-and-every state, no matter the size of its population?
JEFFERSON: ‘Tis fair and balanced, is it not?
ABIGAIL: “Tis not, Thomas! Let’s game this out, boys. You’ve got a huge state like New York with five times the population of, say, Georgia – and they both get two Senators? How is that fair?
ADAMS & JEFFERSON: Oh, Abigail!
ABIGAIL: States with so few people they have just one House Member get two Senators? Do the math! It’s an undemocratic disaster!
ADAMS AND JEFFERSON LOOK AT EACH OTHER.
JEFFERSON: That might have been the night we drank all that port.
ADAMS: I’ll make a note
ABIGAIL: And what about this so-called “Supreme” Court – with judges appointed to lifetime positions by the President?
JEFFERSON: Lifetime appointments insulate the Justices from the petty politics of the day.
ABIGAIL: But suppose this Supreme Court becomes so corrupt that it takes bribes from wealthy benefactors and goes so far as to grant the sitting President immunity for crimes committed while in office?
ADAMS: Oh, Abigail!
JEFFERSON: Suppose one day there are flying machines! And horseless carriages!
ADAMS: And magic potions to eradicate disease!
ADAMS & JEFFERSON: Hahahahaha!
ABIGAIL: But gentlemen…!
ADAMS: Fear not, Abigail! The court shall be made up of landed, well-educated men of impeccable judgement. Such men would never put personal or parochial interests above the good of the nation…
JEFFERSON: Why, if the court ever gave the President immunity, that would make him, in effect, a King!
ADAMS: Precisely what American patriots rejected on bloody battlefields from Lexington to Yorktown!
JEFFERSON: To our great victory! And the brave men who fought and died for it!
ADAMS: Hear! Hear!
ABIGAIL: With respect, gentlemen, I worry that your Constitution as written relies too much on Civic Virtue as a Moral Compass. If you would form a lasting, egalitarian government, binding us to lofty ideals that will inspire generations to come — you may need a rewrite.
JEFFERSON: You’re a real Debbie Downer, Abigail. (ASIDE, to ADAMS) John! Why do you leave important documents lying around where she can read them and form her own opinions?
ADAMS: My Abigail may overstate the case, Thomas, but perhaps ‘tis better we take another whack, what say?
JEFFERSON: Why not let Abigail have at it? She’s proven so adept at pointing out the flaws in our Constitution – I’m sure we’d all like to hear her proposed solutions! If, that is, she has any.
ABIGAIL: Well, I do have one suggestion that may improve your document and add to its democratic vision.
ADAMS AND JEFFERSON LOOK AT ABIGAIL.
ADAMS: And what is that, my dear?
A BEAT.
ABIGAIL: Give women the right to vote!
ADAMS & JEFFERSON: Oh, Abigail!
ADAMS & JEFFERSON LAUGH AS LIGHTS FADE.
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Filed under Art, Comedy, History, Improvisation, Politics, Random Commentary, Truth, Uncategorized
Tagged as Abigail Adams, Am, america, American history, American Revolution, cabaret, comedy, Constitutional Law, Dana Olsen, history, improvisational comedy, John Adams, Paul Barrosse, Politics, The Practical Theatre, Thomas Jefferson, U.S. Constitution, Victoria Zielinski