Storm Tracking with Pat Robertson…

On Sunday morning televangelist and former Republican Presidential candidate Pat Robertson took to the airwaves of his Christian Broadcast Network to weigh in on the direction — and intention — of Tropical Storm Isaac, which was gaining strength as it appeared to be headed toward Tampa, Florida, site of this week’s Republican National Convention.

“Isaac’s deadly winds shall be God’s vengeance upon Mitt Romney, RNC Chairman Reince Priebus, and all of those godless, spineless cowards who knuckled under to the haughty, oversexed feminists and abandoned the Lord’s righteous Missouri Senate candidate this past week,” said Robertson, in one of his patented pronouncements, mixing the meteorological and metaphysical.

“Congressman Todd Akin shall see his profound medical wisdom and faith defended by the gale force Hand of God, as He wreaks his wrath upon Romney, whose magic underwear shall be scant protection from the tempest. An angry God will stand up for his Pro-Life champion by dealing death from above.”

But later in the day, as it became clear that Isaac would skirt the Florida coast, gaining power as it bore to the west in a wide swath from the Florida Panhandle to New Orleans, Robertson went back on CBN, telling his 700 Club co-host Terry Meeuwsen that “God’s way are mysterious — but The Almighty has told me that, rather than strike Tampa with the full force of his righteous hurricane he has decided instead to smite Romney and his fellow Republican apostates with the Drizzle of Damnation and repudiate them with a blast of Righteous Inconvenience.”

CBN has announced that as the National Hurricane Center revises it’s projections of Tropical Storm Isaac’s direction and intensity in the coming days, Pat Robertson will also issue an updated series of pronouncements regarding “those upon whom God intends to visit Isaac’s frightful devastation. Mr. Robertson is personally hoping for a landfall in New Orleans on the seventh anniversary of Katrina, so he can double down on his previous insanity.”


Filed under Comedy, Politics

6 responses to “Storm Tracking with Pat Robertson…

  1. Bob

    It’s about on a par with:
    “this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal …” Tuesday, June 03, 2008 Barack Obama

    • Sorry, Bob, but you have taken Obama out of context. Here’s the whole quote so that readers may judge for themselves.

      “The journey will be difficult. The road will be long. I face this challenge with profound humility, and knowledge of my own limitations. But I also face it with limitless faith in the capacity of the American people. Because if we are willing to work for it, and fight for it, and believe in it, then I am absolutely certain that generations from now, we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless; this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal; this was the moment when we ended a war and secured our nation and restored our image as the last, best hope on earth.”

      You see, Bob, President Obama says that such a thing is possible if we are “willing to work for it, and fight for it, and believe in it”.

      Are you willing, Bob?

    • and this is what happens if you take lines out of context……you are found out !

      • The GOP/right wing has done the same thing with Obama’s “you didn’t build that” statement. It’s dishonest. It’s shameless. And it only works with the ill-informed. The Repubs think that the average voter is easily fooled — and that’s why the “you didn’t build that lie” was just repeated by Nikki Haley at the RNC tonight — and Santorum kept up the blatant lie that Obama has waived the welfare work requirements.

  2. Hugh O'Hanlon

    And this total nut-job considers himself a self-appointed voice of a higher power. He and all of his followers are fools – and an embarrassment to any right-thinking, science-believing human. I wonder if he can see Russian from his house?

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