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My First Novel: Chapter Seven

We’re over 120 “likes” now, so without further ado — here’s Chapter Seven. As always, all the acts can be read in sequence by clicking on “My Novel” in the “Landmarks” menu to your right. 150 “likes” will release Chapter Eight. Thanks for reading, folks!

Chapter Seven

Quietly and single-mindedly, Mike trailed Dr. Huber through the time portal with no clue what to expect. He might’ve thought about Gloria — about the ring he gave her and the proposal she’d pretty much accepted just a few hours ago.

But he didn’t.

Into the future he went.

He didn’t feel anything other than a slight bit of nausea as he advanced decades into the future. It was dark inside the portal. There wasn’t any Frankenstein’s laboratory-like zapping and pyrotechnics. It was a smooth transition, as if there was no discernable border between the present and future.

Seconds passed — or was it less? Dr. Huber was somewhere ahead of him, perhaps only a few feet away. Mike couldn’t tell. He walked forward slowly, deliberately, stalking Huber through the darkness of the portal, trying to keep pace with his unseen target. His adrenaline was flowing. He was on a mission — and he loved it.

Suddenly, Mike got whacked across the face! Where did all these crazy tree branches come from?

It was clear that Mike was no longer in the portal.

The moon lit his way as Mike struggled through the overgrown chaparral, feeling his way through burrs, thorns, and cobwebs with his .45 in hand. Hearing a rustling up ahead, he caught a glimpse of Dr. Huber, who didn’t appear to know he was being followed.

Mike tracked Huber for several hundred feet, from just outside the building housing the portal to the foot of the steps leading up and out of the compound. Dense foliage blocked the entire passage as he pursued the unsuspecting Huber into December 12, 2008.

Mike paused as Huber stopped at the bottom of the steps to catch his breath. The moonlight revealed a dilapidated building at the base of the steps. Mike remembered passing the same building on both of his trips to the compound, but now it appeared as though some mad artist had covered the derelict structure with bizarre, Picasso-like paintings. It was Mike’s first solid evidence that he’d travelled in time.

He was chasing Dr. Huber, but Mike was the one who was lost. Huber knew where he was going. The mad Nazi scientist was following a grand plan, more than five decades in the making. Mike was just a lone hunter trying to keep up with his prey.

Huber was surprisingly nimble for an older man. He moved briskly up the five hundred concrete steps and unlocked the compound’s now-ruined gate. He closed the gate and padlocked the chain before stepping out onto Sullivan Ridge Road, unaware that Mike was on his heels. Behind the gate, Mike watched from the bushes as a souped-up car of a make he’d never seen before skidded to a sudden stop along the shoulder of the road, picked Huber up, and raced off down the street.

Mike watched as Huber’s wild-looking hot rod sped down the road toward Pacific Coast Highway. He saw the situation clearly. Huber’s getaway was no coincidence. He’d planned it all perfectly. His next step would be to link up with Horst and check out their new and improved time portal. That could lead to a rebirth of Hitler’s Third Reich right here in America – and unimaginable horrors.  

Mike had a hard time wrapping his head around the idea that he was now fifty-seven years in the future. He would have to get his mind right – and fast – to keep up with Dr. Huber. Mike had little of value in his pockets, other than fifty-six dollars in cash, his trusty .45, and the iPhone he’d found. He figured Huber would be meeting up with Horst at Cal Tech. He just didn’t know exactly when.

It was likely very soon. 

Besides trying to save the future from the return of Nazism, Mike had another big reason to wrap up this case. It wasn’t patriotism, the thrill of the hunt, or the reward money. Mike had to track down Huber as soon as possible so he could get back to 1951 and Gloria. What’ll she think when the guy she just agreed to marry suddenly disappears? And, if he does manage to get back to her, how will he ever explain where he went? Mike tried hard to push such thoughts aside. He needed to focus on the here and now — whatever that meant anymore. He looked at his watch. It was 8:00 pm. Despite all he’d been through, the night was young.

Mike knew it was probably hopeless, but he looked for his car where he parked it on the side of Sullivan Ridge Road. Of course, it was no longer there. He was less than a mile from Pacific Coast Highway, so he could always walk down to PCH and thumb a ride north to Malibu. Back in his old neighborhood, he could get his bearings and maybe find someone who could help him figure out what to do with his iPhone. Maybe it had more secrets to reveal?

Mike jogged down to PCH, which was lit much brighter than back in his day, though the moonlight on the ocean looked just the same as it always did. Mike walked north, thumbing a ride along the way. The cars that passed him didn’t look like anything he’d ever seen. They were smaller and had a lot less chrome. No fins, big fenders or running boards to be seen. They looked like something out of Popular Mechanics. And the people in them weren’t dressed like he was. None of the guys wore hats. Self-consciously, Mike reached for his fedora. It wasn’t on his head. He must have lost it while trailing Huber through the overgrown brush on Murphy’s Ranch.

Mike looked for a pay phone to see if any of his old phone numbers still worked, but he couldn’t find one. There was a phone booth every other block back in ‘51. He finally found one at Will Rogers State Beach — but it had been vandalized. The phone cord was cut and there was no receiver. No phone book, either. Jerks, Mike muttered. Why mess with a damn phone book?

A couple of twenty-something surfers and their girls were looking for their car in the parking lot. Mike wondered what they’d think of a guy who looked like he might be from half a century in the past. He needn’t have worried. They passed him without a word. They were dressed different than beachgoers in his day, the girls were wearing a whole lot less, but to them Mike must have appeared to be just another black and white square.

Mike was in a whole new world. From now on, he’d have to tread carefully with every step he made. Right now, all he could do was keep moving northward and hope to find Zack’s — if it was still there. But why would it be? How could he be sure that anything from 1951 was still where it used to be?

Hitchhiking didn’t seem too popular anymore, so Mike walked the last few miles to Zack’s Oceanside Dive.

Fortunately, Zack’s was right where Mike hoped it would be. He picked up his step when he saw the newspaper racks on Zack’s front porch. He could finally confirm the date! The Los Angeles Times and The Daily News mastheads made it clear that both editions were published on Friday, December 12, 2008.

So, it was true. He’d just travelled fifty-seven years into the future.

Suddenly, a pang for Gloria stung him worse than the pain in his hip. How the hell was he going to get back to her? Mike’s mind swarmed with questions for which he had no answers. He reminded himself to focus. Take it moment to moment. Moment to moment.

Mike opened Zack’s familiar front door. A crude, monotonous, percussion-heavy music played on the jukebox, which was nothing like Zack’s old jukebox. Above the bar, there were three large television sets – all tuned to a different station. And in color! The sound was off on all the TVs. The pounding music dominated.

The joint was jumping. Mike was glad that Zack’s appeared to be doing a decent business after all these years. Taking in the patrons, he saw that none of the men were wearing suit jackets. Not a necktie in the place. Some of the ladies wore pants. Many of them stared into the same kind of iPhone he had in his pocket. These iPhones clearly weren’t a rare commodity.

Besides the clientele, the music, and the televisions, Zack’s hadn’t changed all that much. It looked like the same dowdy seaside dive Mike always knew, except that Gloria was no longer behind the bar. Then again, if the newspapers in the boxes out front were correct, Gloria would now be 77-years old.

Mike’s mind wandered for a moment. There was something oddly familiar about the gal behind the bar. Was he nuts? Damn, Mike thought, as he settled onto his usual stool at the bar. She looks just like Gloria.

The young woman took Mike’s drink order. Did her voice sound a bit like Gloria’s? He dismissed the thought and enjoyed his first bourbon. He’d catch up with crazy Dr. Huber tomorrow. All he had to do was track down Horst Mueller, who’d likely be found at Cal Tech. He’d get a car in the morning and drive out to Pasadena. Right now, he needed to relax and get a grip on his bizarre situation. He called for another shot. Then another. No beer tonight for Mike. The stress of time travel had him back on the hard stuff.

There was a Daily News sports section sitting on the bar and Mike paged through it. An article on the pro baseball offseason made no mention of his beloved Hollywood Stars. Mike read that there were now two major league teams in town, the Angels and the Dodgers. Were these the same Dodgers that played in Brooklyn? Did the Stars still exist? Was Gilmore Field still standing? Mike shoved the sports page down the bar. He was in deep shit. If he didn’t stay focused, madness could be just around the corner.

Several rounds later, Mike had focused enough to learn the barmaid’s name was Gina but little else. He told her his name was Mike, feeling slightly more comfortable — and more than a little guilty. After all, he was engaged to Gloria. But the all-too-familiar-looking Gina was a pleasure to talk to – and as long as she set up the drinks, Mike would knock ‘em down.

By now, Gloria would have started pouring him coffee.

Way too many bourbons later, Mike was still looking for the right moment to confess to Gina that he was a traveler from the distant past. Of course, that would be stupid — but he had lots of questions that needed answers. First, he wanted to know more about his iPhone. So, he took a chance. Pulling it out of his pocket, he complained to Gina that it didn’t work. Gina knew what it was right away.

“Cool. An iPhone! Wish I had one. How much did it cost?”

Mike had no idea what it cost. He assumed it was probably expensive. “Way too much,” he said with a feeble smile. Gina laughed. “I know,” she said, “but they’re worth it.”

Mike handed the iPhone to her. “Looks like your battery’s dead. You just need to re-charge it,” she said, handing it back to him. She was sorry she didn’t have a charger. “You must be a high roller, Mike. You’re on the cutting edge of technology.” Mike smiled. If she thinks an iPhone is cutting edge, he mused to himself, how about a damn time portal? His head was swimming. There was something about Gina. Something familiar. She told Mike he could get an iPhone charger just about anywhere.

While Gina served her other customers, Mike listened to the conversations at the bar.  He couldn’t keep up. The sports scores and current events were beyond him. He was fifty-seven years behind the times. He knocked back his last shot, bid Gina a too-flirtatious goodbye, and made his stumbling exit.

Weaving his way out of Zack’s, Mike made his way to a secluded spot on the beach that he knew well: a surfer’s cove where he’d camped overnight many times. There was a small cave at low tide, carved out by decades of pounding surf. He’d crash there. In the morning he’d get a car, charge up his iPhone and track down Horst – and Huber.

It was bizarre being stuck in the future, but he was determined to stop this mad Nazi plot and get back to Gloria, marry her, baby her up, and live happily ever after. That is, if he could make it back to 1951.

He was very drunk. And tired. So very, very tired. Soon, the crashing waves lulled him to a blessed, boozy sleep.

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Filed under Adventure, Art, Classic Film, History, literature, Novel, Politics, Truth

My First Novel: Chapter Six

Cool. The 100 “likes” goal having been reached, please enjoy Chapter Six. Of course, you can read the whole novel to-date by clicking on “My Novel” in the “Landmarks” menu to the right. Once we get to 120 “likes” — I’ll deliver Chapter Seven. As always, thanks for reading!

Chapter Six

Mike got dressed and drove over to the Malibu post office. Sure enough, there was Dr. Otto Huber’s mug on the FBI’s Ten Most Wanted list, with a ten-thousand-dollar reward for information leading to his capture. Mike didn’t know whether to be impressed or not. Sure, ten grand was a lot of money – but if this guy was really a scientific genius that could keep Uncle Sam ahead of the Kremlin in the bomb and missile game, ten grand seemed like chump change. Then again, he and Gloria could afford a nice house with that kind of dough.

It was just about lunchtime, so Mike left the post office and headed straight to Zack’s. He’d get a bite to eat and, unfortunately, he had to let Gloria know that he couldn’t take her to An American in Paris that night. He hated to break their first official date, but he had to be at Murphy’s Ranch before 7:00 to witness Horst and Huber make their next move. Of course, he couldn’t tell Gloria that. He’d just say he was starting work on a new case. Mike didn’t like holding out on his intended, but it wasn’t a lie. Not really. He was a detective. Everyone was on a need-to-know basis. Especially, the girl he loved.

Mike’s blood was up. He’d grown cynical since the end of the war and his battles with the police department brass. He was having an increasingly hard time with everything and everybody — except Gloria. But Mike’s detective juices were flowing again. This was one hell of a mystery to be solved. Plus, the reward money for nabbing Huber would pay for a Hawaiian honeymoon — and a big downpayment on that house. They could start their life together in style.

Andy had warned Mike about trying to take down Huber on his own, but he couldn’t go to the authorities. Not with his reputation as a renegade. There was no way he could approach the LAPD or the FBI with a kooky-sounding story about one of their most wanted fugitives traveling back and forth from the present to the future — through a fucking time portal in the ruins of a hidden Nazi hideout just off Pacific Coast Highway.

Hearing such nutty stuff, they’d probably lock him up.

Mike needed to follow up on what he heard at Murphy’s Ranch last night. If he got there by 7:00 pm, he might learn whether Huber and Horst were just two nutcases — or whether they were truly capable of doing the incredible things they were talking about.

When Mike got to Zack’s, his favorite spot at the bar was open. But Gloria was nowhere in sight. Her mother, Barbara, was behind the bar. When she saw Mike take his stool, she put down the mug she was washing and made her way over to have a chat with the guy who just gave her twenty-year-old daughter an expensive engagement ring.

“Hi, Mike. You want something for lunch?”

“Sure do, Barbara. I’ll have a bowl of chili and a side of fries.”

Barbara kept her eyes on Mike as she turned her head slightly in the direction of the kitchen window and called out, “Chili and fries!”

“Something to drink?”

“I’ll have a Coke.”

She kept her gaze on Mike while reaching below the bar and pulling a Coke bottle out of the cooler. She was still looking at him as she popped open the bottle and put it in front of him.

“Gloria’s working in the kitchen right now. You wanna talk to her?”

“I’d love to.”

“I’ll have her bring out your chili and fries.”

“Thanks, ma’am.”

There was a beat as Barbara stared Mike down.

“So, Mike… Is there anything you want to talk to me about?”

Mike was caught flat-footed. But before he could reply, Gloria glided in with Mike’s food and saved his ass. “I’ve got it, Ma,” she said. “The man’s hungry. He’s not looking for conversation.”

“Who knows what he’s looking for?” said Barbara, throwing up her hands. “Enjoy your lunch, Mike. We’ll talk when you have an opening in your busy schedule.”

Barbara went into the kitchen. Mike didn’t mean to hold out on Gloria’s mom, but he didn’t know what to say.

Gloria came out and set Mike’s chili down in front of him, her smile a luminous beam. She wore his ring on a chain around her neck. “Look what I got from my steady,” she said. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

“Careful you don’t dip it in my chili.”

Mike knew it wasn’t a very funny line – but Gloria laughed anyway. He was thrilled that Gloria accepted his ring — but how long would she make him wait? She said they had time. But how much time? She said it wasn’t like he was going off to war. But in a way, maybe he was. If she only knew the truth. And if she knew, would she approve of what he was doing? Or would she think he was a hopeless case – a loser chasing windmills, like that old Spanish guy he read about in college.

Mike took charge of the conversation. He pretended to blush. Well, maybe he wasn’t pretending.

“Your mom had me cornered for a moment there.”

“She may not show it, but she likes you, Mike.”

“And you?”

Gloria placed her hand over Mike’s. “Like I said. You’re my steady guy, you goof.” She gave him an air kiss then spun around to attend to customers at the other end of the bar. He watched his ring fly around her neck, as her perfume lingered in the air. She always wore the same perfume. Jasmine. It was winter, but Gloria always smelled like spring.   

Mike wolfed down his lunch, ordered a dessert, and ate that in a hurry, too. When Gloria came to take his plate, Mike was flummoxed. He didn’t expect this part to be so hard. In one way, it was just a last-minute change of plans. On another level, it was a sneak peek into the lousy, last-minute life of a detective.

He confessed to Gloria that he couldn’t take her out because he was working a new case and had an important meeting at 7:00. To Mike’s surprise, she understood right away. Or at least she pretended that she did. “Go do your job,” she purred. “We can see the movies another night.”

Damn, Mike realized, she just might be the perfect girl for him.

Mike paid his bill and Gloria motioned him to follow her out the back door. Once outside, she gave him a passionate, no-mistake kiss, wrapping her leg tightly around his waist. “Of course, I’m gonna marry you, Mike,” she said, staring into his tired eyes. “See you tomorrow, baby.” She kissed him again – and, big as he was, he almost dropped to his knees, his heart racing.

Mike promised Gloria they’d be married as soon as he closed this new case, but she had no clue how crazy this case was. Mike didn’t know either. Gloria didn’t know how his detective business worked. Sometimes Mike didn’t know either.

Luckily, Gloria didn’t ask Mike anything about his new case – so he didn’t have to make up a lie. What would she think if her brand new fiancé was investigating a dangerous, time-traveling Nazi genius?

That evening, Mike was trying not to dream about Gloria as he shivered in the moonlit shadows on Sullivan Ridge Road, waiting for Dr. Huber to show up at Murphy’s Ranch. He needed to focus on the job at hand. A pair of headlights drove up and parked on the shoulder, just about where Mike had parked the night before. Mike watched as Huber emerged and headed for the gate to the hidden compound.

Huber unlocked the chain, opened the gate, the locked it again. Mike waited a beat, then climbed over the fence as quietly as he could. In the moonlight, he could see Huber making his way down that long flight of steps. He trailed the Nazi fugitive down those five hundred steps and along the creek to the door of the cinder block building that housed the time portal. The Zeitportal. Mike shook his head and exhaled. Was that old Nazi scientist truly traveling through time? He might find out tonight.

Mike hid behind the foliage about twenty yards from the door of the blockhouse, as a nervous, shotgun-toting Horst greeted Huber, prepared to gun down any interloper. Mike took out his .45 and assessed the situation. He could get off more shots than Horst, but Horst only needed one reasonably accurate blast to win the battle. So, Mike hung back and watched from beyond the range of Horst’s shotgun. When Horst followed Huber into the building and closed the door, Mike combat-crawled up to the nearest window to hear what the conspirators were saying. He was sorry that he was wearing his best suit — and pissed that he’d forgotten his pocket notebook. Gloria was too much on his mind. He couldn’t afford any more mistakes.

As Mike listened below the window, it occurred to him that these two guys didn’t have much in the way of security. Just jittery young Horst and his shotgun. But, of course, Mike figured, they’re scientific eggheads, not trained espionage agents. And maybe they’re afraid to trust anyone else with their plans. After all, Huber’s a wanted fugitive with a hefty price on his head. That’s a lonely spot to be in.

The two men were in a heated conversation. Horst, with more than a little attitude, stridently reminded his elder that he was no mere flunky, content to be spoon-fed the great doctor’s plan bit-by-bit. Horst Mueller demanded to know Huber’s entire plan in advance. He had every right to be fully informed or he couldn’t be of maximum service to the glorious cause. Horst reminded his esteemed elder partner that his parents were founding members of the original Murphy’s Ranch enclave, and they’d spent millions on Huber’s time-travel project. It was clear to Mike that Horst was an arrogant, privileged rich boy. And a true-believing Nazi zealot to boot.

For a moment, Mike considered how satisfying it would be to take this prick down with one clean shot from his .45.

Horst was on a roll now — a wealthy, pampered heir having an indignant tantrum. Dr. Huber did not interrupt as his agitated acolyte reminded him how he’d practically grown up in this hidden compound. When Horst’s parents were arrested in the raid after Pearl Harbor, betrayed no doubt by the ignorant laborers who worked on the property, he wanted to travel to Germany and enlist in Hitler’s army, but he was only twelve years old. Instead, he stayed in school, enrolled in Cal Tech at the age of seventeen, and became a pioneering computer science prodigy. Horst pointedly stated that he wasn’t just a security guard. He wasn’t just Huber’s secretary. He was a genius in his own right, the good doctor’s equal: a fellow fighter for the great Aryan cause.

Huber endured the young man’s rant. 22-year-old Horst was his most devoted protégé, so despite his instinct to scold the intemperate youth, the old physicist put his arm around Horst and spoke to him with the warmth of a father figure. As Mike listened, Huber assured Horst that their plan would succeed, that Nazism would survive far into the future. He, Huber, would literally carry the Fuhrer’s vision through the time portal that he and Horst had built. Nazism would travel through their time portal and into a distant tomorrow. And Horst would play a central role in the glorious campaign to follow.

Mike couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Was Huber running some elaborate con job? Was he bilking this fascist rich boy? Getting him to bankroll his research into time travel? Mike strained to keep up with their conversation and the helter-skelter mix of German and English. But it seemed clear that tonight was D-Day for this far-fetched operation.

Dr. Huber started walking Horst through each step of their plan for the last time. It was the wildest thing Mike had ever heard. As he crouched beneath the window, Mike’s legs began to cramp and the pain in his hip returned with a vengeance, but he stayed focused on the plot being laid out by Dr. Huber. It sounded like total madness. Was Huber serious? Or a high-stakes Nazi grifter?

Huber told Horst that when he crosses through the portal, the date will be December 12, 2008 – fifty-seven years into the future. Just as it has been on his previous two trips through the portal. Huber’s first priority upon arriving in the future will be to link up with Horst. By that time, Dr. Horst Mueller should be a 79-year-old Nobel Prize-winning astrophysicist and professor emeritus at Cal Tech in Pasadena.

Of course, young Horst was pleased to hear this. It played to his enormous ego. But, Dr. Huber emphasized, it will take nearly six decades of hard work and fanatical devotion to their plan for Horst to become the right man at the right time in 2008. By then, Horst will have spent a lifetime secretly improving their time portal – and building another hidden portal in an old Berlin bomb shelter.

Dr. Huber gave his iPhone to Horst and warned him not to tell anyone about its existence. He explained that reverse engineering this device will allow Horst to make huge technological leaps over his colleagues in computer science, assuring his advancement at Cal Tech – and a likely Nobel Prize. Meanwhile, Huber explained, it will be Horst’s task to improve their portal’s passenger capacity and date range.  

As Mike understood it, the big problem seemed to be that the portal could currently only take one or two people back and forth from the present day and time to the same day and time in 2008. And that wouldn’t suffice if their scheme was to be successful. They must be able to go further back into the past — before Hitler retreated to the Fuhrerbunker in Berlin on January 16, 1945. Huber pointed to a large calendar in the wall. Huber had settled on a target date of January 1, 1945. It would be a great new year for the Third Reich after all.

The plan was to gather the cream of the Nazi hierarchy, including Hitler himself, and bring them all into the future. “Just think of it, Horst — Speer, Goebbels, Goering, and Himmler – all of them traveling through our portal and arriving here in the United States. We’ll gather a well-armed underground army from all the American militia groups and conquer The United States from the inside!”

Mike wondered who these “American militia groups” were that Dr. Huber was talking about. The German American Bund had been a big deal before Pearl Harbor and the FBI had busted quite a few cells of Nazi spies and saboteurs during the war. And sure, those white-hooded, racist Ku Klux Klan creeps were also up to no good. But Mike didn’t have to wonder for too long, as Dr. Huber continued to enlighten his protégé.  

“The spirit of Nazism is very much alive in America in 2008. Their national leaders talk of unity and racial equality – but white supremacy is still embraced by millions. Many groups have armed themselves, especially in the rural areas. They dream of a new civil war. And we, Horst, we will provide them with the leadership they need to win that war.”

He clapped Horst on the back. “Now, to work!”  

Mike’s head hurt. So did his legs. That old piece of Jap shrapnel was calling out from his hip. It was hard for Mike to believe that Dr. Huber’s crazy plan wasn’t just some kind of elaborate scam, cooked up to swindle Horst into bankrolling his mad experiments. But if Huber was a con artist, he was a damned good one.

Huber went about tweaking dials, turning knobs and calling out numbers to Horst, who dutifully wrote them down. It appeared that Huber was minutes away from stepping through the time portal.

At that point, Mike had a crazy thought. Why not follow Huber through the portal and see what the hell was actually going on? If Huber was just running a con job on a gullible rich kid, Mike would soon find out. And if Huber was telling the truth…holy shit.

Mike felt again how much he loved the thrill of solving a mystery. That’s what he enjoyed about detective work. Sure, Huber was a valuable fugitive. There was the reward money to consider. Mike could easily get the drop on both men and bag Huber right now. Horst was busy preparing the portal and his shotgun was resting against the wall, too far away to do him any good if Mike made his move.

As Huber stepped toward the portal, Mike tossed a large rock on the roof. Horst looked up at the ceiling, grabbed his shotgun, and ran out the door, allowing Mike just enough time to slip inside unnoticed, just as Dr. Huber was passing through the time portal.

Without pausing to reconsider, without thinking of his beloved Gloria, Mike Delaney drew his .45 and followed the Nazi genius into the unknown.

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Filed under Art, Classic Film, History, literature, Novel, Politics, Truth

My First Novel: Chapter Four

Thanks, folks. Having reached 70 “likes” — I now present Chapter Four of my serialized first novel. You can read all four chapters at once by going to “Landmarks” on the right side of the blog and clicking on “My Novel.” When we get to 90 “likes”, I’ll post Chapter Five.

Chapter Four

Mike found the nearest phone booth and called The Los Angeles Times. He tracked down the reporter who wrote the article on the Murphy’s Ranch bust. Luckily, Burt Abernathy was still on staff and thrilled to get Mike’s call. It was one of the oddest stories he’d ever covered, and he hadn’t spoken to anyone about it for nearly a decade.

“Why the sudden interest in Murphy’s Ranch?”

Mike was slow to answer. How could he tell this newspaper hack about seeing a message light up on the screen of a weird, glass and metal device straight out of science fiction?

“My dad was in the landscaping business in Malibu. He knew some guys that did gardening at this compound deep in Rustic Canyon. He said they were always tight-lipped about it.” Mike was lying, of course, but it was a plausible lie. “I was at the library today and I came across your article. I thought, maybe this could be the same Murphy’s Ranch my dad told me about.”

“Sounds like it,” said Burt. “That little Nazi cabal loved their gardening – both for raising food and for the aesthetics. They built raised gardens, planted fruit trees, and hired guys like your dad’s buddies to do the work. Winona and Norman Stephens were very wealthy. I’ve seen the blueprints for the huge mansion they were planning to build there.”

“The Stephens were convinced by a Nazi buddy named Herr Schmidt that when Hitler’s Germany conquered Europe, America would descend into anarchy. So, the Nazi true believers needed a hideout from which to plot the ultimate Nazi takeover of America. Sounds crazy, right? But so did a Japanese surprise attack on Hawaii.”

Mike thanked Burt for the info and got the site’s precise address on Sullivan Ridge Road in the Palisades. Hanging up, he glanced at his watch. He now had about seven and a half hours before 8:00 pm. It crossed his mind to ask his few remaining pals on the police force for some help. But help with what? Given how nuts this whole thing was, Mike knew he had to go it alone. At least for the time being. But first, he headed to Zack’s for lunch — and a date with his romantic destiny.

The ring he’d just bought was burning a hole in Mike’s pocket and his heart was racing as he walked into Zack’s. Gloria was right where he hoped she’d be, behind the bar, keeping things tidy. There was an open barstool right next to where she was working. Mike took it as a good omen.

“They’re finally gonna give it to Bogie!”

“They should give it to Fredric March. Bogie should’ve gotten it for Casablanca.”

Abe and Iggy were also where they belonged, their ongoing argument now focused on the Academy Award nominations.

Mike was glad Bogie might finally win Best Actor. He didn’t see many movies, but he never missed one with Humphrey Bogart. It wasn’t just a private eye thing. Bogie was great with women. He played the kind of bold, confident lover Mike wished he could be. Bogie would’ve asked Gloria out a long time ago. He’d walk right up to her, give her the ring, and pop the question without a lot of hemming and hawing.

Taking his stool, Mike felt for the small box in his pocket and found it. Finding his courage was another matter. Gloria smiled warmly as she leaned in to take his order.

“Some lunch today, Mike?”

“Yes. Anything special today?”

“Well, you’re kind of special.”

Mike’s heart leapt. Did his goddess just call him special? Was this the moment to pull out the ring? Should he wait a beat? Maybe eat first — then propose?

Gloria let him off the hook. “Take your time, honey,” she said, walking away. “By now, you know the menu better than I do.”

What followed was the longest ninety minutes of Mike’s life. He ordered a burger and ate it without tasting anything. Gloria had just flirted with him, so why couldn’t he follow up with some playful remark of his own? His mind was on the ring in his pocket, all the things he hadn’t told Gloria, and everything he wanted to say now. He ached for her. Was he moving too fast? Maybe. But is there ever a perfect time to declare your love? He was truly bad at romance. Where’s Bogie when you need him?

Mike glanced at the clock above the bar. It was getting close to 3:00. This late in the year, the sun would be setting by 5:00. It was already an orange orb hovering just above the horizon, getting ready to sink below the Pacific Ocean. It would be hard enough to find Murphy’s Ranch in the light of day, let alone in the dark. Mike had to get moving if he was gonna be there on time. On time for what? Who knew?

When Gloria came to pick up the check, Mike did the most impulsive thing he’d ever done in his life outside of a battlefield. Taking hold of Gloria’s hand, he looked her square in the eye.

“Hang on a minute, gorgeous.”

He took out the ring box and placed it on the check. “This isn’t a tip. It’s just a little something I want you to have.”

Gloria’s eyes widened. Mike wasn’t sure she fully grasped the meaning of the moment, but rather than say anything more, he waited for what she’d do or say next.

“Oh, Mike. Is that what it looks like?”

Mike blushed like a schoolboy giving his first Valentine. “Open it and see.”

Gloria opened the box, saw the ring, and – to Mike’s joy – her eyes sparkled like the gems she beheld. “Mike! It’s beautiful. I…I don’t know what to say…”

Mike hung on her next words, but they didn’t come. Was it his turn to speak? Of course it was. There was a question he needed to ask. He spoke in what he thought was a hush – but he might have been broadcasting to the entire bar.

“Gloria, darling. You must know I love you…”

“What’s going on over there?” Iggy wanted to know. Abe told him to pipe down.

“Mike’s got some business with Gloria. It doesn’t concern you.”

“I wondered when he’d grow some balls,” said Iggy. “Looks like tonight’s the night!”

Abe slugged Iggy in the arm.

It was just background noise to Mike and Gloria. They looked at each other with months of unspoken thoughts and feelings — pent up and ready to flow. Mike still hadn’t asked the big question. The Marines had been a cakewalk compared to this. Then he said it.

“Gloria. Will you marry me?”

She didn’t seem surprised by the question. She held his gaze. “Oh, Mike. You’re a darling. And I’m flattered. I truly am. But shouldn’t we go on a few dates first? My mom’s been saying you like me, but you’ve never really made a move. And now this…”

Mike’s embarrassment was growing — and Gloria must have known it. She put her hand to his face, gently brushing the hair out of his eyes. “I really like you a lot, Mike. A whole lot. But let’s do this like normal people, okay? You’re not going off to war. I’m not going anywhere, either. We have time.”

Then she leaned over the bar and kissed him. Not on the cheek, but square on the lips. Tenderly. With no hesitation. It was like an electric charge. Mike’s heart nearly sprang from his chest.

“Keep the ring, baby,” he managed to say.

“I’ll give it to my mom for safe keeping,” Gloria replied with a smile, blushing and more beautiful than ever. “Until I’m sure I’m as crazy about you as I think I am.”

With his heart in his throat, Mike managed to ask. “Want to go to a movie tomorrow night?”

“That’d be a good start,” Gloria said, beaming. “A totally normal date.”

“Is there anything you want to see?”

“Gene Kelly’s in An American in Paris at the Aero in Santa Monica. I hear it’s really good.”

“That’s a musical, right?”

“It’s Gene Kelly, silly. Of course, it’s a musical. Honestly, Mike, you’re so damned cute. You’re my mystery man. I’ve still got a lot to learn about you.”

Mike didn’t know how to respond to that. Gloria had just said a lot of stuff at once. It all sounded encouraging. Maybe. It was his turn to say something, but Gloria let him off the hook.

“I get off work at 6:00.”

“I’ll see you then, doll.”

Mike wanted to seal the deal with a kiss – but not with Abe and Iggy watching. He thought of channeling his best Bogart and saying, “Here’s looking at you, kid” — but that would’ve made a mockery of this sacred moment. Instead, he smiled at his intended like the cat that ate the canary, tipped his hat to Gloria, turned on his heel with what he hoped was the grace of Gene Kelly, and sailed out the door to Abe and Iggy’s applause.

In the parking lot, Mike struggled to focus on what he was going to do next. “Murphy’s Ranch. 8:00”. He got into his car and caught one more glimpse of Gloria, talking to her mom, showing her the ring.

Mike was on the verge of being the luckiest guy in the world. He hadn’t felt this good since before the war. But now, he was headed to a meeting that might not even happen. A meeting to which he wasn’t invited. In a place he’d never been before. A secret Nazi hideout at that.

He felt for the strange metallic object in his pocket. Should he just forget about the whole thing? Just go home and plan for his first date with Gloria?

Conflicting thoughts banged around Mike’s head as he drove out of Zack’s parking lot onto PCH — and headed up into the Palisades toward the ruins of Murphy’s Ranch.

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My First Novel: Chapter Two

Okay. 15 likes is more than enough to trigger Chapter Two. Thank you all very much! I hope you enjoy it. It will take a total of 30 likes to release Chapter Three. This process is a bit like one of those old-time movie serials like “Buck Rogers” or “The Perils of Pauline.” You’ve gotta wait for that next installment.

Chapter Two

Cruising north through Malibu on his way home, Mike glanced to his left at the ocean. Through the rain, the moon was bright enough to see the white caps of the storm-driven surf as it surged toward the beach. This coastline was where he was born and raised. He’d conquered an early fear of the water to become a damn good surfer. His dad owned a small landscaping business: trimming, planting, and raking the lush yards of the high rollers who lived in the low hills to his right, overlooking the ocean. His parents didn’t want their only son pushing a wheelbarrow for a living – or worse, becoming a surf bum — so they saved up to send their golden boy to college.

Mike’s thoughts went back nine years to the months after Pearl Harbor. At the time, he was in his second year at UCLA. He remembered how his parents reacted when he enlisted in the Marines. They weren’t thrilled that he was delaying his education, but his dad had survived the trenches in The Great War and was proud to see his son do his bit. Hi mother could only cry and pray. Cry and pray. So, instead of getting his diploma and moving on to grad school, he got basic training at Camp Pendleton, dog tags, an M1 rifle, and the opportunity of a lifetime to go island hopping in the Pacific. The term “island hopping” always pissed him off. It was too cute. Like it was game.

Mike remembered “island hopping” all too well: that series of savage battles waged to capture strategic islands from the desperate, dug-in Japanese. Mike was lucky enough to escape the carnage on Tarawa with no more than a gunshot wound in his right arm. The bullet missed anything vital, so the medics patched him up and threw him back into the meat grinder. Mike figured he must have done something good on Tarawa before he got wounded because the Marines gave him a Bronze Star to go along with his Purple Heart.

He healed up in time to join the bloodbaths on the Marshall Islands: shell-torn strips of coral, sand, and jungle fever with crazy names like Kwajalein and Peleliu. He was always wet, always on edge, always exhausted — always a stroke of luck away from death. While managing to stay alive, he was promoted to sergeant and command of a rifle platoon. The lieutenant who had the job before him was blown to bits by a Jap artillery shell. That’s how advancement works on the battlefield: next man up.

He was leading his platoon on Iwo Jima when a Jap grenade ended his military career. He had no memory of what happened before and after that blast, but he evidently led his platoon well during the battle because the Marines sent him stateside with a Silver Star to go with his Bronze Star and two Purple Hearts. His parents were proud to see their son come home a decorated war hero. But Mike didn’t feel heroic. He was just glad to make it out alive.

After recovering from his wounds at a San Diego military hospital, 22-year-old Mike went back to Los Angeles. On his first day home in Malibu, he got the Marine Corps logo tattooed on his strong right forearm in honor of his lost comrades — and looked ahead to the peacetime future.

All the beers he’d just downed at Zack’s made Mike woozier than he expected. Gloria had cut him off just in time. He prided himself on holding his liquor, but he wasn’t great behind the wheel right now, especially on the wet road. He sure as hell didn’t want to get stopped by the cops. That’d be a real pain in his ass. So, he pulled off PCH, parked on a bluff overlooking one of his favorite surf breaks, and continued to think about the past. 

For a while, he worked with his dad in the landscaping business, but his parents urged him to go back to school, finish his education, and become a doctor. Planting some movie star’s palm trees was no job for a war hero. Mike agreed with his parents, but he couldn’t wrap his head around going back to college. Not after Tarawa. Not after Iwo Jima. Plus, he’d seen enough doctors, hospitals, awful wounds, and deadly diseases to last a lifetime. Medical school was not for him. He needed to do something else. But what?

One night, Mike was drinking at Zack’s with a Marine pal he met while convalescing in San Diego. Eddie had been an MP in the service, policing the waterfronts on hellholes in the Solomon Islands. Eddie had lost some of his hearing when an enemy shell blew up a nearby ammo dump on Guadalcanal. But Eddie’s MP experience helped land him a job as a Los Angeles cop. Eddie assured him that, given Mike’s impressive war record and his time at UCLA, he was a shoo-in for the force.

Eddie was right. Mike made it through the police academy with the ease of a veteran who’d been through basic at Pendleton and commanded men under fire. Mike went at the job of being a policeman like he was hitting some Jap-held beach. Bold and fearless. Some would say reckless. Within a few years, he rose from beat cop to detective. Very few guys rose in rank that quickly. It ruffled some feathers — but promoting a bona fide war hero made for a nice article in all the papers. It was good press for the LAPD brass.

Some guys on the force thought Mike was too aggressive, too inclined to act on his own, blind to department politics, and quarrelsome with his superiors. Mike knew they were right. But the only guys on the force he truly respected were the ones who fought and bled in the war. Guys like Eddie. To Mike, everybody else was play-acting. Hollywood cops. It wasn’t fair, maybe, but that’s how he felt. At least most days he felt that way. Most nights he drank.

And on this night, he’d guzzled down a few too many beers. Mike stuck his head out the car window and took a deep breath. The chill air and rain on his face had the right effect. His head was beginning to clear, but not enough to drive home safely. Not yet.

Beer – and before that, bourbon — helped to dull the pain in his hip, but that’s not why he boozed so much. He started drinking hard during his first year as a cop. It helped him deal with the fact that he’d traded one war for another. He was just wearing a different uniform. But this time, the killing served no higher purpose, and the end of the war was never in sight. Fighting crime in L.A. was like trying to root out the last of the Japanese dead-enders still holding out in caves on those bloody islands. Mike took another deep breath of ocean air.

God, he loved the water. The surf. The peace.

When Mike was feeling particularly unsettled, angry, or weary of seeing the worst side of postwar Los Angeles, he would head to Malibu to visit his parents and surf. But after his dad dropped dead of a heart attack while lugging a bag of peat moss up to some rich asshole’s hillside garden, Mike checked in with his mom less frequently. Her sorrow bugged him. What could he say to her? He’d seen thousands of young men in the prime of their lives die miserably on blasted specks of jungle in the middle of nowhere. He’d seen far too many innocent young people murdered on the streets of L.A. His dad was a 65-year-old man who died doing the job he loved: an Irish immigrant running his own business in America. Where was the grief in that?

Feeling like he was now just two sheets to the wind, Mike started his car and drove back out onto Pacific Coast Highway. After a few uneasy minutes driving in what was now a pelting rain, he managed to make it safely into one of the parking spaces below his apartment. Not a cop in sight. He’d gotten away with it tonight, but the last thing he wanted was to give his old colleagues on the police force the pleasure of the putting the big hotshot war hero in the drunk tank.

The rain drummed on the car roof as Mike leaned back in the driver’s seat and closed his eyes, his head swimming with beer and memories.

He’d been a cop for only four years when, after far too many run-ins with the department brass, his standing as a rising star gave way to a well-earned reputation as a hard-headed know-it-all with a stubborn streak and an unhealthy disregard for danger. When he got demoted from detective back to beat cop, he read the writing on the wall. He saw that, like his dad, it was better for him to run his own business. So, he quit the force in ‘49 and hung out his shingle as a private investigator. He swore off the bourbon and switched to beer. It was time to clean up his act. At least a little.

Young as he was for a private eye, Mike’s chest full of wartime medals and his detective experience kept him in paying customers among the Hollywood elite. But he soon found that tracking down missing rich kids, staking out cheating spouses, and fixing indelicate problems for folks with scads of money was even more soul crushing than battling domestic battery in Encino, gang warfare in Boyle Heights, and unsolved murders in Burbank.

He started taking fewer cases, avoiding the ugliest ones. He spent more time riding waves.

Two years after leaving the police force, disillusioned 29-year-old Mike was living in Malibu, more surf bum than private investigator. When he wasn’t working the occasional case that didn’t offend his increasingly prickly sensibilities, he was sitting on a stool at Zack’s Oceanside Dive, knocking back beers and mooning over a barmaid named Gloria: the one shining, unsullied light in his life.

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My First Novel

I’ve written in a variety of formats over the years: plays, comedy revues, poems, songs, sitcoms, documentaries, screenplays – even Bazooka Joe comics. But never a novel. Until now. I recently finished my first novel. It’s unlike anything I’ve written to date. I don’t intend to shop this novel. I’d just like folks to read it. So, I’m presenting the first chapter here. If, and when, ten people “like” this post – I’ll post Chapter Two. And so on. Enjoy.

MALIBU NOIR

A Novel by Paul Barrosse

Copyright 2024 All Rights Reserved

Dedicated to my darling Victoria

And to Peter Barrosse

My Dad & Veteran of the Korean War

Chapter One

From where Mike Delaney sat on his stool at Zack’s Oceanside Dive in Malibu, the Pacific Ocean looked anything but pacific. A storm was building, howling hard across the Santa Barbara Channel.

The surf slammed into the jagged rocks and wooden pilings below Zack’s waterfront deck, yet the gal working the bar wasn’t concerned. The crashing waves shivered Zack’s timbers, but 20-year-old Gloria polished her beer and shot glasses with no hint of concern. She was cool. And she was hot.

Gloria and Mike had been flirting for a few months now. At least Mike thought she was flirting with him. He normally did pretty well with girls. He was tall and good looking. Ever since The Asphalt Jungle came out the year before, he sometimes got compared to the movie star Sterling Hayden. Guys would call him “Dix” just to needle him. Yeah, he did okay with the ladies — but Gloria wasn’t just another chick he was looking to score.

Gloria was nice to Mike, but it was hard to tell how much she liked him because she was so damn nice to everybody. Still, he sensed she was extra nice to him. Gloria was the best thing Mike had found since he got back from the war six years ago. Since he survived the war. Swiveling on his bar stool to better track Gloria’s movements, a sharp, painful twinge in his hip reminded Mike how narrowly he survived.

Gloria’s mother, Barbara, owned the joint. Her late husband Zack was an abalone diver who cashed out, sold his boat, and bought the bar from the original owner who moved back East after a Malibu wildfire swept down the hillside and nearly torched the place. Gloria planned to go to college, but when her dad suddenly died of a brain aneurysm, she began helping her mom out at the bar.

Gloria was no typical barmaid. She was special. And Mike Delaney was falling hard for her. He wished he could tell her how crazy he was about her.

He wished he felt better about himself.

Johnnie Ray was crying on the jukebox as Mike tried to get his mind off Gloria by paging through a leftover Los Angeles Times. There wasn’t much news out of Korea lately. The war had ground to a stalemate after Heartbreak Ridge. That was the Army’s show. And a bloody show it was. Mike had found out just a week ago that he knew a couple guys who bought it in that useless battle. He knocked back the rest of his second beer, then waved to Gloria for another.He turned to the sports section to get his mind off war and death.

Mike was a baseball fan, and a pretty good player himself. He started in center field for his high school team and played some ball in the Marines before he was wounded. But a makeshift diamond on a shell-blasted island in the Marshalls was nothing like well-groomed Gilmore Field, where his favorite team played. The Hollywood Stars had ended the ‘51 Pacific Coast League season with a record of 93 wins and 74 losses, but they only finished in second place. Mike soon tossed the paper aside. Winter was the worst for baseball news. There was nothing new on the Stars.

By now, Mike was into his fourth beer — with more to come. Nothing specific drove him to drink. He came out of the war better than a lot of his buddies. He was alive after all. But he didn’t feel settled. He wasn’t over it. Any of it, really. Zack’s was the one place where, gazing at Gloria, he began to feel he was in the right place at the right time. He was dealing with a lot of stuff. It was about Gloria, sure. But it was about a lot more.

By the time Patti Page was singing “The Tennessee Waltz”, Mike was two more beers into his evening. It was his birthday, December 10, 1951. When you’re born between Thanksgiving and Christmas, you learn life doesn’t revolve around you. You get lost in the holiday hubbub. From as early as Mike could remember, he tried to let things roll off his back. He tried not to sweat the small stuff. He practiced being easygoing.

It wasn’t always easy. And he didn’t always succeed.

Most private dicks were anything but easygoing — but the hardboiled thing wasn’t Mike’s bag. Not that his 29 years of life experience didn’t justify cynicism. Hell, total nihilism was an appropriate reaction to what he’d seen and done. But Mike wasn’t wired that way.  He signaled Gloria for another beer. He wasn’t into the hard stuff anymore. Mike and strong booze didn’t get along.  

Not very long ago, they got along too well.

Gloria handed Mike a new bottle of beer. “That’s number five,” she noted with a smile, before whisking away his empty and moving on to her other customers. Mike felt she served him with an attention she didn’t pay to anyone else. She was even counting his drinks. That proved Gloria cared about him. The goddess Gloria.

For Mike, it was just he and Gloria at the bar that night. Everyone else was a bit player — like extras in the movies being shot all over town, like some rookie on the far end of the Hollywood Stars bench. When the right time came, Mike would be up to bat, he’d knock it out of the park, and Gloria would be his!

With these thoughts in mind, Mike fumbled in his pocket.  

It was still there.

He’d found a strange object earlier that day and didn’t know what to make of it.

Mike had been surfing the storm-driven swell off Point Dume and was walking back to his car when he saw something odd lying on the shoulder of Pacific Coast Highway. It was a black rectangular thing about five inches long, three inches wide, and maybe a half-inch thick — heavy for its size. One side of it was metal and the other side was glass. On the metal side it had an image that looked like an apple with a bite taken out of it and “iPhone 3G” written in small letters. On the right side was a button. There were smaller buttons on the left side. Mike tried pressing all the buttons – and must have hit the right one because the object suddenly lit up!

A message appeared on what looked like a tiny television screen. The message was written against a light blue background in German. “Murphy’s Ranch Donnerstagabend 20:00.”

Then the screen went dark.

Mike tried to turn it on again — but no luck. Maybe its battery died. Did the thing even have a battery? What the hell was it? Mike tucked the thing back into his pocket and with an instinct born of detective work, he took out his small reporter’s notebook and wrote, “Murphy’s Ranch Thursday night 8:00.”

Lucky for Mike, German was basically a second language to him. His mother’s family left Hanover just before the First World War, and growing up, German was spoken quite a bit in his home. At UCLA, he majored in chemistry, but took some German classes for an easy ‘A’. When he enlisted, he played down his fluency, afraid he’d be sent to the European front as a translator. A surfer boy from Southern California, he preferred to serve with the Marines in the Pacific. Not that he ever got a chance to surf on Tarawa.

As Mike sat at the bar, mooning at Gloria, he ran over in his mind whether he should show the strange object in his pocket to her – whatever the hell it was. Would she think he was nuts? It mattered a lot to Mike what Gloria thought of him, if she ever did think of him. He decided it was best to keep the damn thing to himself and not mention it. At least not yet.  

Mike was just getting to know Gloria. Weeks ago, he dared to ask how old she was — and was stunned to learn she was only nineteen. That she was so much younger than him, — and so innocent — made him nervous. She was just nine years old when the Japs hit Pearl Harbor! What could they possibly have in common? Was she too young for him? Are six bottles of beer too much? Was he too drunk to woo her? His vision of Gloria puttering behind the bar was getting blurry. It was time to go home.  

Mike got up, trying not to appear drunk. He didn’t want Gloria to think he was a lightweight. As he got up off his barstool, the old pain shot through his hip, sharp and searing: a too-frequent reminder that the Marine medics didn’t get all the shrapnel out. But six years after a Jap grenade almost cost him his leg, Mike wasn’t feeling sorry for himself. The shrapnel lodged in his hip was a pain in the ass – but it was also a reminder of the injury that punched his ticket off Iwo Jima. Lots of guys didn’t make it off those eight square miles of hell. Sometimes Mike wondered if maybe some vital part of him got left on that volcanic slagheap.

“Hey, Mike!”

He turned to see Gloria advancing with a pot of coffee. “How about a cup of Joe for the road, cowboy?” She was playfully implying he’d had too much to drink — but Mike was thrilled to think she even cared. He drained the cup his goddess offered. Was she sweet on him, too?

Mike set his cup down and Gloria picked it up saying, “Happy birthday.”

“How did you know?”

She smiled. “You told me after beer number one.”

Mike was hoping she didn’t see him blushing as she pirouetted with the coffee pot and put it back on the burner. She glanced back at him for a moment. “Drive safe, Mike. See you tomorrow?” 

Mike managed an unsteady, “For sure” and imagined himself blowing Gloria a gallant kiss as he floated out of the bar. The pain in his hip was dulled by the beer — and the pounding of his heart.

“Bobby Thompson got lucky!”

Abe and Iggy sat at the end of the bar, getting into it again. Abe Shatz was a Yankees fan. Ignatz Kalicky bled for the Giants. Ever since the World Series, they had the same argument at varying volumes. They were zealots. If Abe and Iggy weren’t arguing about baseball, they were arguing politics and the Korean War. Peace talks were underway in Panmunjom — but not at their end of the bar. Peace was impossible with those two. Mike was a big fan of peace. The brutal battles to liberate all those islands in the Pacific convinced him that peace was the only answer.

As he walked to his car, Mike could hear the ominous pounding of the surf.  His mind wandered to the day, coming soon, when he would summon the nerve and declare his love for Gloria. He’d ask her to marry him — crazy as that might seem. In fact, he’d buy an engagement ring the very next day. He’d do the whole thing first class. She was, after all, the classiest girl he’d ever known.

But should he talk to Gloria’s mother first? Or was that old fashioned? Was he being an idiot? Did Gloria even share his affection? Wasn’t she sending all the right signals? Or did she see him as just another barfly? Should he ask her out on a date before declaring his love? A clap of distant thunder punctuated that thought.

His reverie broken, the shooting pain in his hip returned.

By the time he reached his car, he’d almost forgotten about the odd black object in his pocket. He climbed in behind the wheel and took the thing out to examine it again. The screen was still dark, but he remembered: “Murphy’s Ranch Thursday night 8:00.”

He took a last look through Zack’s window and caught a glimpse of Gloria shutting the place down for the night. Tomorrow, he’d get that ring and find his courage.

Mike’s apartment was less than a mile north of Zack’s, one of three small units in a rundown beach house along Pacific Coast Highway. As he drove home in his beer-fogged state, he pondered how he’d gotten to his 29th birthday in such an unsettled state. He wasn’t always this way. He used to be more certain of himself: certain about what he wanted and how to get it.

He felt like he was at the beginning of a turning point in his life. It wasn’t just about whether he’d ever marry his glorious Gloria. It was the mysterious thing he’d stumbled on. The strange black brick in his pocket. It was “Murphy’s Ranch Thursday night 8:00.”

Drunk as he was, he was more excited about tomorrow than he’d been in years.

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The Practical Theatre Presents a 2025 Year-End Revue: Classic Comedy, Music & Cocktails

The Practical Theatre Company Presents its Annual Year-End Revue at Studio5 in Evanston, Shows December 26, 27, 28 and January 1, 2, 3

The Practical Theater, the Evanston-based sketch comedy group that launched the careers of “Saturday Night Live” veterans Julia Louis Dreyfus, Paul Barrosse, Brad Hall, and Gary Kroeger in the 1980’s, is still hard at work in the Chicago comedy vineyards. This holiday season, The PTC will be staging their latest comedy revue in their inimitable style at Studio5 for 6 shows only: Dec. 26, 27, 28 and January 1, 2, 3.

Their new revue, entitled “Quick! Before We’re Cancelled” satirizes a wild and volatile 2025 with razor-sharp sketch comedy ripped from today’s headlines, as well as a fun-filled, satiric look at various aspects of contemporary life, love, and the pursuit of happiness in an increasingly crazy world. Their new revue is infused with an improvisational spirit and backed by a stellar combo of talented musicians who support cast members Paul Barrosse, Victoria Zielinski, and Dana Olsen for a night of smart laughs — and a cocktail or two. (Did we mention there’s acres of free parking?) Tickets range from $40 to $55.

“Quick! Before We’re Cancelled” is a merry mix of sketches and original songs touching on everything from wacko conspiracy theories, the bittersweet romance of Don & Elon, artificial intelligence, Tarzan & Jane, the new Chicago-born Pope, ICE raiders, and a musical salute to the late, great Tom Lehrer.

Multi-instrumentalist Steve Rashid leads the Studio5 All-Stars, featuring guest keyboard virtuoso and PTC veteran Larry Schanker and the popular Chicago jazz vocalist Paul Marinaro, who will put his own soulful spin on some holiday classics while also serving as the show’s announcer.

“We’re all in need of some good laughs after this crazy, maddening year,” says PTC co-founder and Artistic Director Paul Barrosse. “Going through a year like this, we’ve got a lot to work with comedically. Reality itself feels like satire. It’s also great to have Paul Marinaro and Larry Schanker back onstage with us. They added so much last year. And Steve Rashid and the band make every revue we do as much a great jazz concert as a comedy show.”

The Studio5 All-Stars include the great Jim Cox on bass and passionate Robert Rashid on drums.

Alcoholic beverages are available for purchase at all shows.

The Practical Theatre Company was founded in 1979 while its founders were students at Northwestern University. Three years later, after producing a string of new plays and comedy revues in their 42-seat storefront theatre on Howard Street in Evanston, they joined with Second City owner Bernie Sahlins to open The Piper’s Alley Theatre (now The Second City E.T.C. space) — where the entire cast of their first comedy revue in that venue, “The Golden 50th Anniversary Jubilee” was hired by “Saturday Night Live.”

In the years that followed, The PTC followed up with the long-running “Megafun” at the Piper’s Alley Theatre and their longest-running show, “Art, Ruth & Trudy” at the Briar Street and Vic Theatres — which teamed Barrosse and Zielinski for the first time. Four years later, Paul and Victoria were married.

After a two-decade hiatus from the stage while Barrosse and Zielinski produced television, and a family, in Los Angeles, The PTC was revived in 2010 when Vic and Paul joined with fellow Northwestern alum Steve Rashid to stage comedy revues in Los Angeles, Cleveland, and Chicago. The trio then joined in 2015 with veteran PTC drummer Ronny Crawford and comedian Dana Olsen, a Northwestern pal, fellow Mee-Ow Show veteran, and screenwriter known for writing comedy films like “The Burbs,” “George of the Jungle,” and the current hit Nickelodeon series, “Henry Danger.”

EVENT DETAILS
Friday, Dec. 26 at 7:30 p.m.

Saturday, Dec. 27 at 7:30 p.m.

Sunday, Dec. 28 at 7:30 p.m.

Thursday, Jan. 1 at 7:30 p.m.

Friday, Jan. 2 at 7:30 p.m.

Saturday, Jan. 3 at 7:30 p.m.               

Where: Studio5, 1934 Dempster St., Evanston, IL 60202
Info: http://studio5.dance/calendar

Tickets: $40 for theatre seating, $55 for cabaret table seating

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My Book Report: “The Battle of Midway”

Let’s be honest. Book reports are one of the scourges of youth.

Even if you enjoyed reading the book that you were assigned in grade school, or that you read in some summer reading program, the book report was always hanging over you. You had to write them. Teachers had to grade them. Nobody was really happy about it.

Now that I’m out of school and read mostly for pleasure, I enjoy sharing my enthusiasm for books I’ve read. And since I’m in no longer in danger of being graded by Sister Philomena, it’s time to rehabilitate the book report.

When I read a good book this year, I’ll post a book report on this blog — and The Battle of Midway by Craig L. Symonds is a very good book.

I confess that most of my recreational reading time is spent devouring history, especially military history: tales of Lord Nelson’s navy, the American Civil War, World War One aviation, and the great battles of World War Two. So, “The Battle of Midway” is right up my alley.

Having read a lot of history books, I’m not easy to please. Too often, history is written in a dry and academic way. I dare you to hack your way through Thermopylae: The Battle That Changed the World by Paul Cartledge. The legendary last-stand heroism of King Leonidas and his 300 Spartans deserved more than a repetitive, impenetrable compendium of scholarly knowledge with no regard to dramatic storytelling.

Ever since I read the great Civil War histories of Bruce Catton and Shelby Foote, I’ve come to appreciate that the best, most readable history books address their subjects with a novelist’s gift for character and story. And that’s what Craig Symonds brings to his stirring account of the Battle of Midway: a game-changing confrontation that was essentially the Gettysburg of World War Two in the Pacific.

As the sun rose on June 4, 1942, six months after Pearl Harbor, the Japanese navy was supreme in the Pacific. Before the day was over, the U.S. Navy had turned the tide. Like the Confederacy after Gettysburg, the Japanese would continue to fight – and the bloodiest years of the war lay ahead – but the Japanese could no longer win the war.

I’ve enjoyed Craig Symonds’ work before. A retired professor and chairman of the history department at the U.S. Naval Academy, Symonds wrote A Battlefield Atlas of the Civil War (1983) and Gettysburg: A Battlefield Atlas (1992), both of which I’m proud to have on my groaning history bookshelf. Those two books, with their easy-to-read maps and clear, concise copy make the great Civil War battles easy to comprehend. With no less clarity, Symonds goes deeper into the personalities and drama in The Battle of Midway.

Symonds begins by painting a bleak picture of American naval power after the disastrous surprise attack on Pearl Harbor. But, as dire as the situation was, with a seemingly unstoppable Japanese aircraft carrier force (the Kido Butai) imposing it’s will across the Pacific, the U.S. Navy’s own carriers had been absent from Pearl Harbor – and, within six months, would provide the platform for a counterstrike that would lay waste to the Kido Butai.

Symonds draws all the main characters with the skill of a novelist: Admirals Nimitz, “Bull” Halsey and Spruance as well as the poker-loving gambler, Admiral Yamamoto. But Symonds doesn’t dwell solely on the brass – he also gives us a chance to meet the pantheon of heroes who flew the torpedo bombers, dive-bombers, and fighter planes, as well as the seamen who manned the guns on the ships, fought the fires on their decks, and patched up the holes to keep them afloat.

By the time Symonds gets to the fateful, pivotal and incredible five-minute period in which American dive-bombers mortally wounded three of the four Japanese carriers in the Kido Butai – and thus changed the course of the war in 300 seconds — it’s clear how it happened, why it happened, and who was responsible.

“What I tried to do is put together the oral histories to recreate a moment” to make readers feel like they’re there, Symonds has said. “It allows us to put ourselves in their place.”

Particularly compelling in Symonds’ account is the story of the American carrier, USS Yorktown. The Yorktown had been badly damaged by a Japanese bomb on May 8, 1942 in The Battle of the Coral Sea. The crippled Yorktown limped into Pearl Harbor on May 27. It was expected that repairs would take three months. But Admiral Nimitz needed the Yorktown for his planned attack on the Kido Butai at Midway – so the repair crews at Pearl Harbor fixed her up and sent her back out to sea in just three days. Four days later, the Yorktown was fighting the Battle of Midway. Alas, the Yorktown did not survive Midway, but before she went down, her dive-bombers had sunk the Japanese carrier Soryu.

The Battle of Midway is part of Oxford’s Pivotal Moments in American History series — and in the introduction to his book, Symonds writes: “there are few moments in American history in which the course of events tipped so suddenly and dramatically as it did on June 4, 1942. At ten o’clock that morning, the Axis powers were winning the Second World War… An hour later, the balance had shifted the other way. By 11:00 a.m., three Japanese aircraft carriers were on fire and sinking. A fourth was launching a counterstrike, yet before the day was over, it too would be located and mortally wounded. The Japanese thrust was turned back. Though the war had three more years to run, the Imperial Japanese Navy would never again initiate a strategic offensive…”

The Battle of Midway is a great read. The resolute self-sacrifice of the doomed Navy torpedo bombers will bring you to tears. The courage, ingenuity and resourcefulness of the fire suppression and repair crews on the Yorktown will amaze you.

And, among other vastly interesting things, you’ll find out how Chicago’s O’Hare Airport got its name.

If you think you don’t like military history books, give this one a try.

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